Live Earth Awards

It has taken a couple of days for it all to sink in, but after live-blogging the Live Earth concerts all day Saturday (something like fourteen hours), I think I'm now ready to present the winners of the first-ever Live Earth Awards, brought to you exclusively by Dead Heads ~ Running Things. Please note that these awards only cover acts that I actually saw and heard at least some of. The judging, not to mention the nominations, let alone the award category creation, were all done solely by me. (UPDATE: I think I'll call them the "Gories.") You are welcome to add your reactions in the Comments.

Most Impassioned Performance
Winner: Melissa Etheridge
Runner-up: Foo Fighters

Most Bass Players
Winner: Spinal Tap
Runner-up: Madonna (if you saw Spinal Tap, you get it)

Most Exalted Ego
Winner: Sting
Runner-up: Madonna

Most Apparently Wasted
Winner: Taking Back Sunday
Runner-up: Akon

Most Elaborate Stage Production
Winner: Madonna
Runner-up: Roger Waters

Most Rockin' Band
Winner: Foo Fighters
Runner-up: Wolfmother

Most Bare Skin
Winner: Pussycat Dolls
Runner-up: Tie between Flea and Fergie (Black-Eyed Peas)

Most Confused about Global Warming
Winner: KT Tunstall ("eat more soil?")
Runner-up: Rihanna (thinks an umbrella will help)

Best Overall Audio Quality
Winner: Genesis
Runner-up: Abingdon Boys School

Most Worshipped by Crowds
Winner: Al Gore
Runner-up: Spinal Tap

Most Weird
Winner: 12 Girls Band
Runner-up: Black-Eyed Peas

Most Ancient
Winner: Roger Waters
Runner-up: Genesis

Most Chill
Winner: Nunatak
Runner-up: Jack Johnson

Most Drums
Winner: SOS All Stars
Runner-up: Stewart Copeland

Most Deserving of a Second Listen
Winner: Kenna
Runner-up: Abingdon Boys School

Most Disappointing
Winner: Duran Duran
Runner-up: Smashing Pumpkins

Most Awesome Without Fitting One of These Other Categories
Winner: Beastie Boys
Runner-up: Tie between Alicia Keys and Red Hot Chili Peppers